BOOK SHELF

Author: HYLAND, Jason

Publisher: Jason Hyland, 2018

Do you like reading personal accounts about recovery? 

Jason Hyland writes about his early recovery journey from being a “completely broken individual” to a best-selling author and speaker. He writes about the dark times and how he asked for help and changed his life. Wherever you are in your journey – thinking about a change, at detox, in treatment, sober living, or early recovery – there’s something you’ll relate to in this book.  

Why do I like this book? 

I watched Jason’s Ted Talk (The Connection the Addict Craves, Jun 2019). Please watch it if you haven’t already. He mentioned being a best-selling author. So, I ordered his book. Jason writes the same way he speaks, with a humble heart. 

This is an inspirational book. No stones left unturned. Authentic and vulnerable. And Jason clearly wants to help guide readers out of the pit to recovery. He contrasts how all the little things are different in recovery. Off the couch and into the world. From waking up sober and grateful to having a purpose. How his thoughts and hygiene routines are different. And he weaves in sports, music, and podcast references. It’s easy to read. It feels like Jason’s talking with you rather than writing a book. 

Why you might like it…

There are so many reasons to like this book!

Right at the beginning of the book, Jason shared his say-goodbye-to-alcohol letter. If you’ve never written one, or don’t know how to start, please read Jason’s letter. Then craft your own. Or, if you’re struggling and ambivalent, read the whole book, then come back to his letter and craft your own…Allow yourself to experience the feelings of finality as you move on from your toxic relationships. That could be a game changer. 

But it doesn’t stop there. You’ll have a pep talk and inspiration when you need it! 

Author: ZAHARIADES, Damon

Publisher: Artofproductivity.com, 2017

Are you a people pleaser? 

You know…someone who consistently puts other people’s needs before their own, even when it takes away time, energy, money, and other resources that you really need for YOU. Of course it’s a good thing to care about and help other people, but maybe you’ve even moved towards self-neglect. Maybe you’re sharing resources you don’t really have, because it feels uncomfortable or impossible to say no to someone. 

If that sounds like a fit, but you’re not sure, Damon Zahariades also included a short quiz to hone in on the different degrees of people pleasing. 

Why do I like this book? 

Damon shares some of his own experiences of agreeing to help when he really didn’t have the time or resources. It feels real. Damon also examined the many different motivations behind people-pleasing and our reluctance to say “no.” When you read it, you may find yourself saying, “that’s me,” or “he gets it.” Especially when he highlights the connection between people-pleasing and resentment. Most importantly, Damon shared that this tendency is simply a learned behavior that can be changed. And…he shared specific situations and ten strategies to practice.   

Why you might like it…

Simply put, there’s practical advice.

Sometimes when trying to change a habit, there’s a tendency to go too far the other way. When I’m trying to diet, I might deprive myself of any and all snacks. When I’m trying to increase productivity, I may deprive myself of any rest time. Sound familiar? It’s like a pendulum. We’re on one side for so long, so now we swing to the other end. We think it will balance itself out. 

Instead of a “Sure, of course, count on me,” now you find yourself shouting “NO means NO!” After all, you’re trying to stop the behavior, right? It will balance itself out, right? But it doesn’t. That kind of over-reaction will not foster the relationships you’re trying to preserve or rebuild. And Damon discussed the difference between becoming more assertive and that other end of the pendulum, becoming aggressive. 

So I think this is a good book to examine those tendencies, identify some of the motivations behind your own people pleasing, and practice strategies that preserve your time and resources. And you get to build your confidence and self-regard! 

Author: SAGE, Peter

Publisher: Influence Publishing, 2018

Do you get stuck in life’s problems? 

We’ve all got challenges, but we don’t have to experience them as problems. Peter Sage’s book is about changing your perspective and enjoying a full life. And the book is based on the letters he wrote while incarcerated at the Pentonville Prison in the UK. 

Peter Sage’s book is helpful if you find yourself getting stuck. You know…stuck in a job that you don’t like…stuck in a pattern of self-destructive behavior or psychopathology…stuck in a toxic relationship…stuck in prison…There’s always something that you can do to make the situation more tolerable. And it starts with changing your mindset. 

Why do I like this book? 

My favorite takeaway comes early in the book. At the end of the first chapter, Peter Sage shares his “Gratitude and Emotional Transformation Exercise,” (pp. 23-24), which, in my opinion, can be life changing. I have used this strategy many times. Even very recently when my phone decided to break. By going through the four steps, you gain a different perspective on the problem and its potential value. The exercise lessens the pull of the emotional tides, so you’re not stuck in that moment or situation. You may want to try this exercise to put relapse or another challenge in context… 

Why you might like it…

If you liked Peter Sage’s Ted Talk (How to become your best when life gives you its worst), July 2019, you will understand the context for this book. I’m a big fan. Go ahead and download his Mud or Stars? story after you watch the Ted Talk. Peter Sage writes the way he speaks, so you may feel like you’re having a conversation with him through the letters in the book. 

Peter Sage’s book will help to change the perspective from victim to victor. The power comes from looking at the adversities you’ve handled and the strengths you’ve developed from doing so. You may not even realize you have these strengths, but you do. 

So I think this is a good book to get unstuck and to remember to be an active participant in the chapters of your life story! 

Author: GLASS, Lindsey

Publisher: Reach Out Recovery, 2019

Do you need help with some life skills?

Have you heard the old saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know?” Maybe your addiction started when you were a tween or teenager…and you missed developing important life skills. Maybe your go-to coping strategy was using or consuming something to feel better. Maybe your parents weren’t there or weren’t fully present when you were growing up. You may not know that you’re missing some life skills. But it’s never too late to learn! 

Lindsey Glass’ book is helpful to fill in the gaps of adulting.

Why do I like this book?

Simply put, there are a lot of practical tips.

Lindsey is in recovery and shares some personal examples. There’s no shame in saying, “I don’t know how to do this,” and getting the help and guidance you need.

The book was organized around Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (Please do a search for this motivational theory if you can’t picture the pyramid of needs as you read this). There are tips about basic needs, such as taking care of hygiene and taking out the trash. There are tips about emotional health and those top-of-the pyramid self-actualization and self-transcendence needs, too. Throughout the book, Lindsey encourages connection with practical tips to meet new sober friends and stay connected. There’s space to make notes on each page.

Why you might like it…

Think about this example (which I’ve shared in groups many times).

If you’re 33, then the world expects you to act like a 33-year-old. And you get some feedback, “oh, you’re acting like you’re 13,” or “oh, grow up already, are you like 16?” Could it be that you’re using the emotional and self-care tools you have because you didn’t develop many others when you were in your late teens and early twenties? Well, if you’re not working on this right now in sober living, then how do you make this transition from 13 to 33?

So, I think this is a good book to fill in those gaps and increase self-confidence too! 

Author: SPIEGELMAN, Erica

Publisher: Hatherleigh, 2015

Do you like learning about the brain? 

Recovery is about rewiring the brain. Erica Spiegelman developed her own recovery plan while learning about the brain. Her recovery journey led her to become a licensed counselor to help others achieve and manage their recovery. We are practicing things on a daily basis to cement in needed neuronal changes. 

Why do I like this book? 

Simply put, there’s so much here! I’ve read it several times! 

This is really a book about building your own recovery plan. Erica is in recovery and blends stories from her own life and other people’s lives. She addresses 10 key elements of recovery: Authenticity, Honesty, Evolution, Solitude, Time Management, Self-Care, Healthy Relationships, Gratitude, Compassion, and Love. Each section ends with journal questions, so you can process through a deeper dive. Each section has associated affirmations to practice. Changing your thoughts is an important part of rewiring the brain in recovery.

What I like most is that Erica has a realistic and compassionate approach to trauma…Even if we created or contributed to the trauma, we still experienced it, and we need to heal. 

Why you might like it…

Erica’s key premise is that recovery plans must be individualized.

I like to say there is a buffet approach to recovery. You might have to sample some of the foods techniques, before finding what works for you. As you’re reading through the 10 pillars that Erica has set out, you are taking notes, trying things out, journaling, using affirmations, and tailoring your recovery plan. I loved the personal stories, and I think you will too. This is a keeper – you’ll probably read it more than once. There’s a lot here!

So, I think this is a helpful guide with 10 foods areas from which to sample! 

Author: POTTER, Eric

Publisher: Eric Potter, 2024

How do you live sober? 

This is a guidebook for early recovery. The subtitle of Eric’s book is “A gentle approach into sobriety with practical guidance and exercises for alcohol and drug addiction recovery (reclaim your power with real solutions).” Eric starts out by acknowledging that we know how to live life with substances, but how do you live sober? That’s the challenge. That’s why a guidebook is helpful.

Why do I like this book? 

Eric takes a lot of complex information and makes it accessible. There’s a lot of helpful information. He starts out with the brain stuff, motivation, and blackouts. He uses analogies that help illuminate why you can feel so miserable during detox, and why it’s so easy to justify relapse. He uses the powerful analogy of Stockholm syndrome for the relationship with substances. He reviews Dr. Steven Melemis’ Five Rules of Recovery (LINK TO BLOG) and the origins of AA. And, throughout the book, Eric shares his own lived experience, with vulnerability and insight.  

Why you might like it…

The axial part of the book is the 12 steps. Eric takes complex information and makes it accessible. 

Eric shares his own recovery journey through each step and provides worksheets for clarity and focus. The worksheets are work. Be prepared to work the steps to get the full benefit of this book. Eric has clearly benefited from his 12-step work and has made the path more accessible for others. 

Also make sure to check out my blog from March that's related to this review: https://regrouping4recovery.com/blog/f/five-rules-of-recovery